Well this is my last blog post and I have mixed emotions I guess. Writing blog posts was fun sometimes and a good space that I could kind of rant about my feelings without a fear of judgement. Sometimes it sucked because I would forget about it and then rush my post because I just wanted it to be turned in but the times I took my time it was pretty enjoyable. I probably won’t continue to upload posts to it because I’ll forget but I’m glad that I had the chance to do this and take this class because it was different from any other type of assignment I’ve done before. So yeah that’s all!

I feel like everyone thinks they have to be one thing or stick to being one type. Everyone is so afraid to be different or do multiple different things so they just don’t. Whether it’s Liking different genres of music or liking different styles of clothes people are just so afraid of it for some reason. I’m guilty of this and thinking that I can only like one specific thing that everyone else likes and I can’t like other things in addition to that. This mindset sucks and once you get out of it you feel a lot more free than you did. More people need to realize that you can do and be whoever you want and you can change it up every day if you want to and no one can say anything about it but yourself. Step out of your comfort zone and do what makes you happy.

I don’t really know where to begin to reveal myself honestly! Everyone knows who I am and thinks they know me so well but honestly there’s such few people who really do know me. So I’m just going to share some things about myself. My favorite color is pink, my favorite artists are Playboi Carti and A$AP Rocky, my favorite designers are Rick Owens and RAF Simons, I have an insane shopping addiction, I have the most lit bf in the whole entire world he is so hot and funny asf and I love him, I’m really sensitive and I have a really big heart (contrary to popular belief). So anyways yeah that’s who I am and what I like 👍🏼

What are you scared of? Is it heights? Is it snakes and spiders? We all have fears rational or not and we all talk about them but no one really talks about the real fear in life. Personally I think highschool is full of fear. Fear of rejection, fitting in, deadlines and pleasing others. Out of all these things I think high school is the scariest of all. This is when we really become ourselves and have to face our fears and not let peoples opinions get in the way. This is extremely hard and absolutely terrifying because one wrong move and people may turn against you or reject you or you may disappoint someone. There is so much pressure on such young people it’s honestly sad.

Bricks are the foundation of a lot of things. This is because they are very strong and durable. I think the people need to become more like bricks. That sounds really dumb when you first say it but when you break it down it’s A lot more deep and there’s more to it. We need to be the foundation of our lives and be strong and support ourselves. Sometimes people won’t be there for us to support us on our own much like bricks kind of to support themselves on their own. But also despite the independence we need to work together and help others because of bricks are used their used in groups and support each other and themselves at the same time. In conclusion we need to support ourselves and others and make the world a better and stronger place.

How can you tell if you love someone or someone loves you? I feel that love is a common misconception and a lot of people get it confused with a lot of different emotions. In order to know if what you’re dealing with is love there’s a couple of things that need to be happening to know for sure. When you love someone you’ll do almost anything for them and you want to do all you can for them in order for them to succeed and have a better life. When you love someone you only want the best for them and you’ll have to make sacrifices and changes in order for that to happen. Loving someone is a whole new level and it’s so amazing but it also does come with a lot of pain so you must be prepared for. It may fix relationships with others it may affect the way you do things but also it’s all worth it because in the end when it is real love you will both make enough concessions for each other for it to flow and work so well.

Crayons. As a kid I made an effort to never use crayons when it came to coloring. They never looked as good and they weren’t as satisfying to use. Looking back this was probably the only “problem” I ever had. I miss being a kid and being so carefree. There was no worry about how I looked or what people thought of me. I miss when going to school was exciting and didn’t feel like a chore. It was easy to have friends because everyone wanted to be your friend and accepted you no matter what. I miss the days where the biggest pain I felt was when I scraped my knee. Now things have changed and I worry too much and I think too much. Not everyone is accepting and not everyone wants to be around you all the time. I miss when my biggest struggle was using crayons.

My eyes are blue. Just like water and the sky. Green eyes are green just like grass, plants and leaves. brown eyes are brown like soil and autumn leaves. Eyes and nature have a lot in common. You can find yourself getting lost in both of them and becoming addicted easily. Eyes are very familiar, you get attached to them and they stick with you. Similarly, nature has the same life long effect. Once you see nature and take it all it, it’s really hard to forget and it will always be apart of you. I think this is so beautiful that we have things like nature and eyes.

Senior year. Honestly it’s felt just like every other year since middle school. Insecurity, depression, wanting to fit in and fake friends. I thought that senior year might feel different but once I started it was just the same old. Until the other day I was sitting in my counselors office having my CCR and she handed me the papers and forms to apply for college and get my cap and gown. For a second I felt like time froze and it really hit me. It hit me that this is it in this is the end, soon I’ll make the transition into the real world and these high school problems will not even matter. Though this did bring some panic it brought a sense of relief. People say that high school or some of the best years of your life but I disagree. My high school experience has been extremely rough, I never had stable friends or good mental health so it’s been kind of hard to thrive and appreciate things when I’m lacking these things. Though it is kind of sad to think that being a kid is kind of over soon, i’m really excited to see what the future holds for me. I think that these years that are approaching will be when I can finally be myself and thrive. I’m really excited to get out there and do stuff for myself and build my own future. I’m so ready to move on.

My favorite place in the whole world is LA. I love to be there and I love who I am when I am there. I feel the second I cross city lines I develop into who I want to be. I think this is because in Utah I feel so isolated like I have to be a certain mold and I can’t break it or I won’t be accepted by society. In LA it’s a totally different story everyone is who they want to be without fear of judgment and no one really does judge because they kind of just do their own thing. I started going to LA about twice a year probably three years ago and I look forward to it so much. Since the first time I’ve been I felt something different there and felt free there. Some people may argue and say that the place feels evil and draining where I could see that because I feel like it takes a certain person to love it and strive for it. Regardless of all of this it’s truly my escape and I’m so glad it exists because these two times a year I can really feel like myself and feel unstoppable.